My name is Tommy and I live inside your toilet. First a little background on me. I was born microscopically small because of a recessive gene on my dad's side and that is how I got in here. My parents lost me when I was very young, you know, because I am so microscopic and all. I was looking for friends and I found some down here in your toilet and we have a bone to pick with you.
First off, I know you're stubborn, but you can't keep flushing wipes down the toilet big guy. They might say 'flush-able,' but believe me they aren't. Once they get down here where we live, they never dissolve and they just cause a giant road block. So for our sake and yours, please keep the wipes in the trash bin.
Secondly, please take the makeup products off the back of the toilet bowl. Your wife has so much of it that I am sure you are running out of room, but the toilet is no place to rest it. I have a friend who lives in a toilet a town over and he said a lipstick cover fell down his drain and they were out of commission for a week. I don't want that for either of us, so please don't put anything up there that could fall in!
We also need to talk about you cleaning things up a little better. There are people living down here! When it is time for bathroom cleanup, make sure you get a good scrub in under the seat, lid and inside of the bowl. Don't use those tank cleaners because they could cause more problems than they're worth. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Next time the drain starts to back up, use our friend the plunger instead of Drano. The chemicals in Drano do dissolve the clog, but they also eat away at the plumbing.
We try and keep things neat and tidy down here in the drain but we are very little people. Sometimes it takes the help of a plumbing professional to take care of drain clogs. The best guys for the job are over at Nassau County Plumbing & Sewer Rooter so I would suggest giving them a call. All of the neighborhood toilet people are raving about them.
To schedule service, call 516-874-7937 or visit us on the web!
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